Between Hurt and Healing:

When the people around us can't—or won't—make room for what hurts, the loneliness can become its own kind of wound. Someone recently asked me, "What kind of suffering makes you lean forward in your chair? Not because you enjoy it, but because some part of you immediately understands it." For me, there’s a particular kind of pain that results from invalidation: having your pain dismissed, minimized, or rejected by the people around you. Sometimes, the result is that you end up

July 13, 2026 As a therapist, I've come to believe there's an important difference between healing someone and trying to fix them. I think back to my own life. When I was younger, I remember my father saying, "Well, darling, what do you want me to do about it?" And in my head I was thinking, I don't know, Dad... maybe give me a hug. My dad was wonderful when there was a practical problem. If my car broke down, if I was short on rent, if I needed help choosing insurance, he w

June 15, 2026 Over the years, I've sat across from many people who were convinced there was something fundamentally wrong with them. "I'm broken." "I'm crazy." "I'm weak." "I don't understand why I'm like this." Yet when we begin exploring their histories, I find myself having the same reaction: It makes sense to me. Not that their suffering is good. Not that every choice they've made has been helpful. Not that they don't need to change. But that the person sitting in front